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Cooling Down
02.21.04 (11:09 pm)   [edit]
[well, I'm really relaxed this time. Back to boring me. Nothing's happening to my life this week and the coming weeks... ]

How to loosen up a bit? Uhhmmm...
a. Enjoy life
b. Put back order the things,etc.
c. Make time for smiles
d. Satisfy yourself
e. Think very well (MUST)

For pete's sake! What have I been doing! I have mastered this skill for about a lifetime and I would just give it up like that!

I think I would be coming back in a matter of time, writing about my favorite place, the school. The place where life ruined me, built me and where I am currently spending 80% of my life.
 
Releasing my Anger for the Last time
02.21.04 (11:03 pm)   [edit]
I am still feeling bad about February 20, 2004. I hated that night. I keep on trying to forget it while lot of things kept on bothering me and reminding me of that horrible night. That night when I went beserk upon knowing the greatest secret kept from me...

Shoot! Why was I ever born to be so curious?! The one link I pressed led me to the greatest secret I must have never known. (sense please?) That action only resulted to insanity. Insanity just to forget that secret. Insanity that I sleep 2 AM working on non sense stuff. Insanity that I keep on playing sports under the sun to make my self over fatigue, dark, suffer asthma, and dehydration. Insanity that I never talk to the phone and keep on exceeding my bills. Insanity that my social life suffers so much. Insanity that all I care most is my self. Insanity that I lose control of my self and my schedules. All of these just to forget it...

You should check me out now. I'm getting thinner (yey!) and big eye bags.

Enough of that, I'm really trying to forget everything. I'm trying to live my life right now.
 
Keep Off
02.21.04 (12:08 am)   [edit]
What is wrong with me?

The whole week for me is a big mess. I was exhausted. I cut classes. My head aches. I suddenly turned very lazy. No matter how hard I study nothing seems to be right.

What is with me?

Curses. I suddenly began inviting my enemies at friendster without any reason.

Fate betrayed me.

How come the people I hate are the ones who seem to be lucky.

I know no one could understand what I have been writing here now. I'm undergoing a major breakdown now. Please understand.

[To the people who won't stop bothering me and keep on knowing me.]

Get out my life! I value my privacy so much. No one knows me better than my self. Get your own lives. Mow your own grasses. Keep off mine!

Sorry about the inconvenience..arrggghhh...
 
Lists
02.16.04 (5:12 am)   [edit]
I do not know what's got into me but I want to showcase my likes and dislikes in this world.

[u][b]Likes[/b][/u]
note: this is not in order
1. ice cream- the only dairy product I enjoy, I'm lactose intolerant/ intolerate. (whichever)
2. moon and stars- interest; fave motif; reminds me of rest
3. anime- japanese cartoons. Even though they're in a different language, I enjoy them. I speak and write a little of nihonggo.
4. green and pink- ugh.. This is one of my crazy ideas that I don't have a reason why. They are not my fave colors but yet they're interesting colors.
5. aromatheraphy- it's an interesting way to soothe yourself
6. hot oil- the only hair treatment that made my hair be the best it could be. Note: use natural oils for best results.
7. incubus- ever since my teacher in social studies pointed out the best stuff about brandon boyd I enjoyed them more than ever.
8. blink 182- the best band I ever heard.
9. potatoes- the best vegetable/ fruit/ thing
10. music- food for the mind, heart and soul
11. Little Women- by Louise May Alcott. A good source of knowledge


[u][b]Dislikes[/b][/u]
(more on people)
1. complete showoffs- the complete idiots for me. They are the most irritating people on earth. (Liars, rude and super-boastful people.)
2. uncaring/ rude people- I wish someone would be rude to them, too.
3. corny people- not that i'm not one sometimes but they are irritating.
4. tactless people- also seem to be uncaring people; doesn't care about feelings
5. (a country)- secret. no comment or clues.
6. meat- not that I'm a vegetarian but I feel grose when I see people cutting meat. hey, maybe I could be a vegetarian.
 
B.L.U.E. ala Valentines
02.08.04 (1:51 am)   [edit]
(Telephone rings.)
a: "What will you be doing this valentine's day? Me, I will be having a date with...blah, blah, blah (ultimate showoff!)"
b: "Well, nothing..."

Nothing this Valentine's day. What's really special this day? It is said to be the day when Cupid throws an arrow to couples for them to fall in love with each other. How pathetic.

If people really love each other any day is special. No celebration is needed for them to prepare a date, or anything.

What is needed to be done during Valentine's day? Is it necessary for a person to have a date? Why do people have this expression that, "I still have no date this valentines." A person with company on valentine's day is somebody to look upon. Even if I don't consider the day special, why is it that I'm, like everyone, so bothered.

B: Bothered? yes I am. why? don't really know.
L: Loved? yes. in love? hmmm...
U: Uncoordinated? i don't even know there's such a word.
E: Envy? hmmm.. dunno. of whom? probably ******

[b]Blue [/b] is the color of my valentines. Unfortunately, blue. No chance of turning red. Never, Nah-uh..
:wink:
 
why some people are unlucky
02.02.04 (5:55 am)   [edit]
today is the second day of the second month of the year. what a tragedic day it is!

a. I do not know why some people like to play pranks and why people get tricked easily. I was a victim to this just a while ago. My classmates know how much I love algebra. A while ago, I was informed that the teacher was absent so I went to the quadrangle to watch my other classmates play. Out of nowhere, two of my classmates came rushing to me and saying that the teacher was there and we were 30 minutes late and we were having a quiz. I immediately rushed to the FOURTH FLOOR to check out the room when it was EMPTY! I saw my two classmates laughing. I was angry but anger turned into pain as I had my asthma attack. Cannot breathe and I don't know why my legs and hands went numb.

b. I was taken downstairs to get more air. I was going to the quadrangle, accompanied by others, when I passed by my other classmate who was bleeding for she tripped on the stairs and hit her head and knees to the stairs. She was continuously bleeding and had difficulty in walking too.

c. Not very long time after me and my classmate's recovery, my other classmate bursted into tears as she found her bag wide open and her wallet gone. Okay, now could anything go worse? Interesting, I found out two more students losing their wallets. A student from the other section and the boy whom, I fancy.

*a characteristic of a tragedy is a tragic hero. Am I one?
 
what a girl needs...rest
01.31.04 (9:23 pm)   [edit]
[Disclaimer: This is the life of a 14-year old, sophomore student at an exclusive, public, special science high school.]

what I need for tomorrow?
1. advance notes for biology
2. complete notebook and portfolio for literature
3. class attendance
4. review for all the subjects
5. make activity 9, 10 and business report for entrepreneurship
6. complete my project in computer
7. wrap my new notebooks
8. fix my room

what I need to prepare for?
1. a week of assignments, lectures, work and pop quizzes
2. another week of hidden admiration with the guy I am recently sort of crushing
3. another week of battle with self control
4. another week of battle with the people who are unaware of me
5. another week of battle with my sickness

what I need to buy?
1. pen
2. handy notebook
3. new bag/s
4. scrungie
5. blouse/s
6. pants
7. CD
8. scissors (I lost mine and my sister's)

There, a full week need-to-do-or-buy things. Have I mentioned that I am anemic and asthmatic?
 
drama
01.27.04 (6:04 am)   [edit]
[b]Goodbye to You[/b], Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star
 
quote for the day
01.24.04 (6:34 am)   [edit]
"If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
Love is the rhythm
You are the music
If God is a DJ
Life is a dance floor
You get what you're given
It's all how you use it"

~Pink
 
why the chicken crossed the road
01.23.04 (2:59 am)   [edit]
(here we go with the real entry)

I am the chicken. I seem to be full of feathers but I'm not. Deep inside I am a chicken. I may be dressed, marinated, breaded, or deep fried. But still I am chicken. I take risks in crossing the roads I see to find the chicken coop.

(Am I cheesy? How's my writing?)

Well its about this day's experience. I just finished my exams a while ago. I went with my former classmate whom I consider a not-so-close friend for I just don't like how bossy and mushy she can get, and mood swings, forget it. I spent time with her since my other friends went to catch a movie. I'm off for a rest today.
So, this friend revealed me things, I was hoping to confirm. The people who hated me so much are just under my nose! Ugghh...I said in my head. Sometimes blessings come in different packages. I'm just glad she's my package. The road I took is worth the risk. Chickens need to cross different roads at a time..

And that is why chickens cross roads...
 
testblog
01.23.04 (2:25 am)   [edit]
it has been a long time since I visited this site. The monitor has been displaying the message that tblog had problems...

well anyway, my problems are finished.(computer problems, my exams, gifts, etc.) I am at the edge now of writing..

testblog...
testblog...
testblog...

anybody at friendster out there? invite me.. :wink:
 
unfinished
01.04.04 (12:09 am)   [edit]
i'm toast...

i haven't prepared for anything this vacation. i was so in to the spirit of family closenessthat i totslly forgot school work.

i look really awful...

i forgot to get a new haircut, do my nails had a spa or anything. I was planning to do those by the way..

jan 5... tomorrow... work... wait, I'm the secretary of the class! shoot!
 
You and I Both, Jason Mraz
12.21.03 (5:07 am)   [edit]
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
And taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What you and I spoke of
Others only dream of the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out ofÉ

and it's okay if you have go away
just remember the telephone works both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm already finally out of words.

*hope you like it guys.. :wink:
 
Zero
12.21.03 (4:56 am)   [edit]
If you have been reading my entries, you would know that I have a very nutty, unorganized Christmas. Well, I kinda got my wish: Christmas in my life's as lame as it can be..

1. The tickets to Singapore had problems so the trip was cancelled.

2. I knew before that we were going so I sold my ticket to that theme park the whole school was going.

3. Yesterday, was the theme park thing so I didn't go with my other relatives to the same theme park.

4. A while ago, the whole family was going to a really neat place to go horseback riding, swimming, etc. and there's this package my family needs to wait.

5. The thing I was asking 4 months ago turned out to be their Christmas gift to me.

See? The once so assorted Christmas schedule returned to zero. Great, what a vacation.

:?
 
What day is it?
12.16.03 (5:05 am)   [edit]
[i]"What day would it be if one of the people you consider as a man in the class cries like the world is going down,
Or a girl in the class weeps for a loss friendship,
When the person you like touches your shoulder and says hi?"[/i]

Dramatic eh? Hmmm... The day's just too hectic, tiring and somewhat topsy-turvy.

Well, most of the people in the class were fightig and most of them ended up crying or shouting bad words. There is this contest we are supposed to be practicing for tomorrow and yet here they are babbling about their problems. Why don't they just make up?

It's December 16, 2003. What day is it today?
 
The Big day
12.13.03 (9:25 pm)   [edit]
A few weeks ago, my teacher gave the whole class an unusual project. It was not like [i]make a module[/i], or [i]make a report[/i], etc. It was to go on an [b]outreach program[/b]. By the moment she was telling us that, I was really thinking that it was the worst project ever. It would take all of my time, and waste it. I was thinking that I would be going to a place of the sick and I am not going to able to talk to them or go near them so there's no point of going. I wish that I could just send them goods or donations. Of course, I didn't tell anyone. I acted as if I was satisfied with it and I would like to get it done as quickly as possible.

Anyway, yesterday's the big day. Arrrgghh... It was the last day of my [i]advanced mathematics lessons[/i] in the morning and the [b]big visit [/b]in the afternoon. It would be tiring! Have I mentioned that it was raining and I forgot to bring an umbrella! [i]What a day[/i], I thought. The transportation vehicle was another problem. There were two cars, one to carry 22, the otherto carry 3 or 4 and man we are 34! Thank God my other classmate brought his father with him to drive some other. The car I rode was the one that can carry 22, 22 if 3 people where sitting on the others. It was hot, they were noisy though it was fun.

When we arrived, I thought of what I will be doing. Then I was surprised when my teacher said that we should be getting our own children. Whoa, that was not in the contract! I shared a boy with my friend to lessen the reponsibility. Another classmate of mine, he was a guy, had problems with his child. She, the child, didn't want to stand up or even come near him. So, I gave my best shot in trying to please her. Fortunately, she stood up and went towards me. I continued pleasing her and I was planning to give her back to my classmate after he finished leading the prayer. Well she didin't want to go. She even called me "mama" and really made me feel good. She didn't want me to leave her even to get food.
I had a good time with her and found it hard to let go. It was the first time I felt really good because she was really smiling a lot and even hugged and kissed me. I thought, this wasn't a bad day after all.
 
Sing for the music
12.13.03 (8:57 pm)   [edit]
I really, really love music. From now on, I will be posting songs in my mood. If you want sheets, lyrics or anything send me a message and I will try my best to give them to you. Anyway, a song for people who think that their significant other is truly the one for them.

[b]Artist: Richard Marx and Donna Lewis Lyrics
Song: At the Beginning Lyrics[/b]

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Live is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.
 
Christmas woes and wishes
12.11.03 (5:27 am)   [edit]
this christmas I am a mess...

1. I still don't have gifts for anybody this christmas.

2. My father's not coming home this christmas.

3. I am not sure where to go this christmas: at home with my friends, or in Singapore with my relatives.

... see how unorganized this Christmas is? I'm thinking of Singapore to lessen the problems.. whatta you think?

All I ask for Christmas:

1. grand piano

2. a CD

3. a Persian cat or a Tiger

4. world peace

5. a good book would do

...or anything that comes from the heart.. It is not much isn't it?
:D
 
In between..
12.11.03 (4:59 am)   [edit]
It seems so hard to be in between. Especially with two people who likes you more than a friend.

(deep breath.) Inhale, exhale. This is one of the hardest decisions I am going to make. I am not choosing anyone. I just do not know what to do. I am having a hard time moving because since they started not talk to each other, I became conscious of my actions and words. I do not want to hurt them for they might hate me or avoid me, I still want to be their friend.

It feels good when you know someone cares yet gossip is a major enemy. However, it makes me feel bad when no one cares about me.

Haaayy... very difficult...
 
New on my Page: Personality Quiz
12.10.03 (4:25 am)   [edit]
All people interested in personality quizzes I hear your call. In one of my links, I included the personality quiz page. After answering the main page quiz and knowing who I was in the past, I clicked the quizme link and discovered a buch more. Here are the results:



1. I was a Popular Cult Leader before. (??!!) What the? I have no idea!



2. 100 ACRE PERSONALITY QUIZ. I got 41% and I resemble Kanga. I am "warm and loving to children. People know not to misbehave when I am around or they'll end up in a time out!" Cool, kinda like me: submissive yet super assertive when really mad. I don't know about the children loving part..



3. ARE YOU AN INTERNET ADDICT. Got 43%. I'm not addicted! Hurrah! "You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the Internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.." oh.. balance..:)



4. WHAT COLOR ARE YOU. I'm blue! Not sad but a love-giving friendly person. It also states that I enjoy long conversations about philosophy and spirituality and am also intuitive and loyal..



5. USELESS PERSONALITY QUIZ. I scored 38% and I'm a gingerbread man. Really useless. No further descriptions and the questions are really not related..



6. WHAT CANDY ARE YOU. I am a Baby Bottle Pop. It says that I tend to whine and be a little bit bratty but I have a sweet heart and others would like to spoil me.. Huh? SPOIL??!! Probably describes the people who try to enter my secret, mysterious and peaceful life.



7. WHAT DJ ARE YOU. I am Dj Brazen Cheese. No relation with my name but better than DJ monkey thing just like my friend got.



8. WHAT PIE ARE YOU. I am a peach pie. A little tart and a little sweet. Matches me...I think.



9. VALENTINE QUIZ. I am a 10, a valentine expert. Funny, this was in every serious personality test I took. Fair enough, I thought..



10. JACK-O-LANTERN FACE. I have a grumpy face. I don't really like halloween. I don't even get the reason the way everybody celebrates it.



There you go, my results for the personality quizzes I took. Hope you have fun taking them too. You could share your results to me too..:)
 
Short Day Update
12.10.03 (4:19 am)   [edit]
The day was..

1. People in my school never valued time. They did not consider a thing to be done. There is a task to be finished! And that s***s because when you need help, nobody gives you a helping hand! Yet they become very bossy and embarass you in any place of their choice. It made me want to cut their tongues to stop them from screaming and laughing. (I am submissive yet becomes assertive when a person gets to my nerves.)

2. Well, enough of my fury inside. There is this person who I really want to be friends with. I am not sure if this is love, affection, feeling, or crush, whatsoever. I just want to be a friend. :oops: We know each other and somehow became used to exchanging our [b]hi[/b]'s. It has been a long time since we haven’t said hi to each other. So I decided to say hi to him today since there is nothing wrong with that I think. At first, arrgghh… he keeps on avoiding me and never greets me like before. At the time I was really in a bad mood, I sat on the stairs and saw him on the bench across the stairs. There he looked at me with that smiling face of his and waved. Awww… That was the best smile I have seen in his face. He stared at me for quite long until I left to my next class.

3. I could not manage my time. I came home early yet I did not do anything a while ago. I wasted two hours which were supposed to be spent in some important stuff. Planners don't help I guess when you are really tired.

4. There will be a program tomorrow, no classes.

5. I came to realize that I have the "power to predict the future" and heightened senses just as my friend says.

...hmmm.. you rate. Tell me if my day went bad or good. The smile was a great thing to me. :wink:
 
Today
12.10.03 (4:04 am)   [edit]
Today is my first blog entry. I have many things to say about myself and that's for you to find out.Let’s just say that today; I am back to my old, observant me. Today, I cannot help noticing people as they pass or talk.

The people who are usually around me seem to be acting so immature. They tend to be tactless, loud, frank, judgmental, and green. They keep on lingering too long in the canteen just to keep on talking about some guy or girl they like, talking to themselves and suddenly bursting to laughter. I cannot understand why they like to do this. The canteen is hot, especially when there are a lot of people. They keep noticing passers by and tend to call a fight. They are so embarrassing. Especially when they began talking about circumcision loud without minding that there are other people inside. I am irritated, more than I am irritated with a person with a slow, weird accent, or a person who seeks attention. But who am I, to get mad at them when I have my own life and that is what they want? Even though I am prone to being included when they are caught. I am not known for a good leader but a quiet, and submissive yet super assertive when greatly angered. Besides I cannot take it if a person gets mad at me, I am emotionally sick. I can handle them but I am sick. Why is it so hard to get mad?


:(